It’s pretty much impossible to get a room in the Big Apple by yourself. 99% of us must find a good roommate in NYC to ensure our savings account doesn’t spiral into an out-of-control nose dive. When we set out on our epic odyssey through the concrete jungle, we have such high hopes. And then, we see how things really turn out. Does a fun, stress-free way to find a good roommate in NYC actually exist? Read on to find out.

Find a good roommate in NYC using big online sites

Hope: Those sites are highly visible, and they’ve been in business for a long time. So we think, hey, they’ve been around a while, should be good for finding a roommate in NYC?

Reality: Big name websites turn out to be like leftovers in the fridge. They were amazing at first, but over time, soured. Then turned bitter. And eventually rotten inside. And now the scammers are breeding in the dark recesses of what used to be a beautiful thing. Like tapeworms in pepperoni and sausage stuffed crust pizza.

Recruit an ally to tag team the insufferably loud neighbors

Fun Idea: All your polite attempts at conversation and passive aggressive counter-slamming of doors at 6 AM have been for naught. So. Go to the Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts in the hopes of finding someone who plays the loudest instrument possible and ask them to be your roommate. That should drown out the neighbor’s music. And who knows, maybe you’ll get free tickets.

What would really happen: You end up in an arms race with the neighbors, playing progressively louder and louder music, driving the walls to structural failure. Your roommate, now suffering from acute hearing loss, abandons your cause, and the Philharmonic Orchestra is now down a tuba player. Rough times all around for anyone trying to find a good roommate in NYC.

Related: Rules To Set In Apartments For Rent With Roommates

Explorative DIY roommate finder method to catch a good roommate in NYC

Do-over: Ride the same bus all over town and talk to random people you meet. Use the finite time you have in this world together as a get-to-know session.

Should have seen this coming: You find a good roommate in NYC and later realize they are utterly crazy. And now the frothing lunatic is upset because they discovered you’re not. And claim you mislead them because you were the one riding around the bus all day, and only crazy people do that.

Message in a bottle technique

The Thought: Bottled paper has been reaching across titanic rifts to join two people who are perfect for each other since before the internet was even a thing. A bottle must brave tumulus oceans, navigate using only the stars, and avoid getting pulverized by lightning. Compared to that, it has a slightly reduced chance of success in NY, but you’ll take those odds.

The Turnout: Oh, so that’s littering. As the police kindly explained while writing a ticket. So, much for finding a good roommate in NYC the good ol’ way!

Related: The Quest To Finding Your Perfect Soul-Roommate

Roomiapp.com: Our Last Hope at finding a good roommate in NYC

Dream: Use Roomi to find a good roommate in NYC. Stress-free with security. You can peruse roommate listings at your leisure and match up your lifestyle choices with theirs. Our secure chat system lets you get to know them at your pace in your own way, so you can find someone who is the juke to your jive.

As it turns out: That’s exactly how things work. So c’mon over, put your feet up, log in using our mobile app, and find a roommate in NYC to share your story with.